Category: Joke Board
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I
have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks
have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today and that was the last
straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice
that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite
meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me
you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great
life!
___________________________________________________
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining and
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but
the first thing that came to mind was 'You look
just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and
I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning. After all of this, I still loved you and
felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the
lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got
home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always
wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote
ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a
problem.
lol, priceless!
saw this before. loved it.
Nice!
ha sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side is it, I love it
Every time I se this I laugh like crazy.